When You Hear Something Many Times…

You start to believe it. I know I do.

Ok so this post is completely unnecessary but I’ve been thinking a lot about slut shaming lately and since it relates to gender bias, I thought I’d share. Mostly because I need to rant about this and I figure this is a ~safe~ place.

I’m just very angry. I’m angry about the double standard. I’m angry about the stigma. I’m angry about the way that women are shamed by society no matter how they behave.

When a man has casual sex, he is congratulated and called a player. His friends clap him on the back and laugh with him. He feels proud, sexy, accomplished. When a woman has casual sex, she is shamed and called a slut, a hoe, a whore, or any other derogatory name people can come up with. Everyone whispers about her and makes fun of her, even her friends. She feels guilty, ashamed, worthless. Why do we commend the man but shame the woman? They both played equal parts, but apparently the all the blame falls on the woman. What makes it okay for a man to sleep around but not a woman?

And you know what’s worse? Women can’t escape the shaming no matter what they do. If they have sex, they’re called a slut. If they don’t have sex, they’re called a prude. We’re literally trapped, having to choose between the lesser of two evils. No matter how we behave, we’re shamed. No matter how we behave, we face insults, slurs, rumors. We can’t win. We can’t escape the stigma.

I’m tired of being told how to act. I’m tired of being shamed for how I behave. I’m tired of being talked about. I’m tired of being stuck between two insults and having to choose one. Being a woman is like playing Russian Roulette. We put a gun to our head, pull the trigger, and hope the chamber is empty. I’m done with the stigma, the stress, the anxiety, the inability to act without being criticized. I’m done with the slut shaming. I’m done.

Anna Buteau

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